No one can accurately predict which marriages will last and which marriages will fail. It’s been said that there are as many things that can cause problems in a marriage as their are couples who are married. While that may be an exaggeration, the truth is what may cause a problem in one marriage may not in another, but there are five main areas that seem to be the top indicators of future marriage problems.
While no one gets married expecting the marriage to fail, there are a number of marriages that are almost doomed from the start. Teenage couples or couples who marry because there is a baby on the way are battling against the odds. Teenagers lack the maturity to face many of the challenges that married life will bring and often have money problems that create major stress on the relationship. A couple who is just beginning to learn to live with each other are generally not ready for the changes that a baby will bring to the marriage. A teenage couple with a baby on the way is an almost certain disaster. That is not to say that couples who are in these situations will always see their marriages fail, just that these conditions will make having a successful relationship more difficult.
Many married couples face a brick wall when they try to resolve any issue they have. In order to solve marriage problems couples must be able to talk things through and reach a solution through agreement or compromise. Communication breakdown is one of the main reasons for failure to be able to find a solution. Minor issues can and will become major issues when communication is absent.
Our marriage vows are a commitment. So many people forget that marriage is a commitment that should be taken seriously. When you are totally committed to your spouse and to your relationship, you make them top priority. Decisions are made based on “us” and not on “me”. It is a sad fact that many people today take that walk down the aisle with less than 100% commitment to the marriage and their partner.
It’s somewhat amazing, but many people think that they can change their partner once they are married. Accepting your partner for who they are is so important. If there are doubts or things about someones personality that bother you before you are married, I can promise you that those things will be magnified when you are living everyday side by side with that person. If you cannot accept your partner “warts and all”, the best course of action is to end the relationship before a wedding takes place.
While trust is the last thing that we will talk about, that doesn’t mean it is the least important. There have probably been more marriages torn apart over actions that destroyed trust than all other causes combined. A marriage built on a foundation of trust, combined with open and honest communication almost assures a successful relationship. Likewise a marriage where there is doubt and distrust where one or both of the spouses keeps secrets and tells lies almost assures a marriage that will fail.
As was mentioned no one can accurately predict the success of any marriage, but there are many factors that can contribute to the success or failure of the relationship. Beginning a marriage at a young age or for the wrong reason, being unable or unwilling to communicate about issues affecting the relationship ,not being totally committed to the relationship, thinking you can change your partner and being an untrustworthy spouse are all indications that the marriage will be problematic.